Sorry, not much to rant about this month. You know, no big wars or sex scandals... It's not that there's no more injustice in the world, but frankly, I'm pretty beat right about now. I've worked off my gluteus to bring in a bunch of new sponsors in order to print you more cartoons. Those of you who don't just look at the pictures can peruse my interview with our god willing next mayor Molly McKasson, or the return of the Worthy Causes and World Wide Weird columns, and note Robert Oser's Vegetarian Best of Tucson Awards on page 22. And look for more prose features in coming months.But speaking of those new advertisers. I know, you've heard this before, but fer gawd's sake be nice to them. They're the ones who bring you this paper, all of them. Those of you who stop me on the street to thank me for carrying Dykes, or Cucaracha or Zippy - I mean, I appreciate it, absolutely, but please, tell it to the sponsors. You have no idea how much of a difference that makes.
Those of you who stuff dollar bills in the coinboxes, you make my day, but better you should spend that buck on one of my advertisers. Seriously! This paper is full of money saving coupons, and if you really appreciate what we're doing here, then you'll slice it to ribbons and turn them in to the fine merchants of Tucson (after you've read all the cartoons, of course). Unless of course you really want a town full of WalMarts and McPapers.
And one more thing: all you returning students. Your homework assignment is to get a different tattoo at each of the five shops who bought space in this here back-to-school issue. Then stop me on the street and show me that.
Apparently nobody was offended enough by Frosty's guest diatribe last month to write in a reply. Do I have to do everything around here? Okay, skip all the stuff about Bubba and Hillary. Let me see... Oh yes, if you think prosecutors have it tough, try being a public defender. And remind me to write a column about this bogus Chinese spy scandal sometime. But here's the thing, and Frosty, you know I love you, but if you think "property owners" are paying through the nose to support the "desires" of non-property owners, take a look at my book Take the Rich off Welfare. This country shells out three or four times as much to rich folks and big business than to all the homeless folks and welfare moms put together. Likewise, we give more in tax breaks to property owners than we do in housing subsidies to the poor. And here in Pima County, Arizona, poor folks pay out a higher percentage of their income than rich folks for every form of taxation besides income taxes. And that adds up to a lot of spare change.